A plethora of emotions

The time has come....


For me to bring myself back to reality, my actual life. Each day and night I've advanced forward with my life until it's finally hit me. It is May 13, 2009. I have just spent the last 4 and 1/2 months of my life in Spain, away from my family, friends, home, school and life. But what I've started out here in Spain has been entirely amazing, is it time to end my life in Granada so soon?

"Donde fueres, haz lo que vieres"

My professor taught me this quote today. It means that one eventually adjusts and becomes accustomed to a situation or circumstance. In one way or another, I think this was a message for me...There is no sense in complaining about what you have, especially when people would kill to have this great life. And surely I haven't complained. I couldn't be more thankful to be where I am in my life, but something inside me has made me feel sad to return to the United States. Why? With so many great people and aspirations to tend to, I should be ecstatic to see those who love me and revisit where my life has been for 20 years. I have clearly become accustomed to my life in Spain and most definitely will become re-accustomed to my life in the United States. So back to the origin, why do I feel melancholy when I think about my departure date: one week from today....


I recently had a conversation about this and it was brought to my attention that I seem to live in a world of dreams. Is my study abroad experience just another ingredient to the recipe of life? This past semester spent in Spain has been incredible and I'm about to abandon it. From here, I may transition into another part of my life, possibly the new "dream" in my life....another ingredient to add to the recipe. I am at the point of realization and my life is in my hands. So I must decide where I want to go, regardless of what society tells me. It's likely that the reason I feel sad to leave Spain is the fear of never returning. Am I living up the old saying "The grass is greener on the other side." Maybe 5 months has teased me with a sample of the "other side". Yet, somehow, I think my direction in life will bring me back to Spain. I've found a new level of happiness here and maybe that's a sign.


But for now, I must look ahead with enthusiasm and back with nothing less than pride in who I've become. A lot has changed in five months, who knows what the future could bring.